When What You Thought Was Best Isn't
**This blog originally appeared at kamrinhuban.com. It has been re-published here and shared with the Nexus community with the author’s permission.**
What do you do when you thought what was best.... isn't the best for the person it's for?
I used roll my eyes when my mom would pick out clothes for me. We laugh now because she knows if I hesitate at all, I am going to say, “I love it! For you!”. She has great taste, for her.
Of course payback is a b****, as they say. My own daughter basically gags when I mention any piece of clothing looking cute, pretty, comfy, snuggly, perfect…. if I have any opinion about what she should wear, at all, I get the 10-year-old version of the middle finger.
Polite, no thanks, if in the store.
Clothing taken off immediately and left in a wad on the floor, if at home.
Ouch.
At the beginning of summer I took her to the mall to pick out some new summer clothes as she had shot up and “nothing she owned fit”. Also code, for, this “rag” is no longer cool/acceptable.
She picked out two pair of shorts, a halter top situation (that I never would have chosen in a million years but have to admit looked perfect on her), and some socks.
2 pair of shorts, one top and some socks.
For the summer.
I offer to buy the shorts and halter top in multiple colors.
NO.
I offer to buy her multiples of the same color.
NO.
I’m left thinking, it’s summer, it’s the North East, it’s going to be hot and sticky soon.
Luckily, at least for now, my 10 year old is perfectly happy to wear the few things she likes, over and over. It’s pretty efficient, she feels good and looks adorably HER.
A similar situation has come to light for me in my Coaching offer.
WHAT?
OUCH.
I offer two-hour coaching sessions. I do deep work. My clients have accomplished amazing things. I am so proud of them!
My own Coach, for whom I have tremendous respect, does two-hour sessions. I modeled my business after these sessions because they were incredibly impactful for ME.
The right now me, me. The Entrepreneur me, me.
And she modeled after a super well known Coach, Rich Litvin, whom we both have tremendous respect. He won’t do anything less than two hour sessions. Because he also wants to dig deep and have big impact. I’m pretty sure Rich may argue with what I’m about to write.
BUT.
There is a group out there that I care about passionately, that this model may simply not work.
Executive women.
Likely, but not necessarily, mothers.
Women who have given everything to everyone else.
The women who are up at 5 am to do their workouts, leave home (when leaving home was a thing anyway) at 6:30 (or earlier) to beat traffic and to get to the office. Conference calls on the way in, conference calls on the way out.
Double or triple booked with meetings all day, emails coming out of their ears. Reviews to give, problems to solve, strategy to set.
Race to whatever school thing her child(ren) are in, race home, make dinner, eat dinner, help with homework, get kids in bed…and then get back online to do more work.
Go to bed exhausted,
and likely feeling behind.
Over and over and over.
How am I possibly going to get TWO HOURS out of these women’s schedules? I’d be stealing from them as it is if I took the two minutes when they eat their yogurt for lunch (that was meant to be breakfast)! The thing they “have the least of” is TIME.
Some people will make it work. They may be so close to breaking, so burnt out, so exhausted, or so damn fed up, that they are willing to “risk” being “out of office” for two hours every two weeks in order to get their lives back on track. Or in a healthy scenario, they may fiercely believe that their own development is worth it and commit to it, come hell or high water.
But some women won’t feel like they have this choice. And how do I get to them?
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Kamrin passionately believes that bringing humanness to the workplace is what makes employees more engaged and efficient. With 20+ years of experience in the consumer goods and fashion industry, she has worked at multi-billion dollar brands, and smaller boutique brands. Kamrin has been based in the US, Germany, Vietnam and China. Through these experiences she deeply understands the importance of development of managers and leaders in an international, multicultural setting. As an Executive and Personal Development Coach, she provides individualized support based on the latest neuroscience of Coaching, focused on how to develop sustainable change.