Overcoming ‘Survivor Mode’ and Embracing Hard-earned Success
For much of my life, success was more than just a goal. Coming from a working-class family, it was a matter of survival. I grinded because I had to. My last semester of college, I took six courses while doing two internships. I applied to hundreds of jobs in the weeks leading up to graduation and secured the only one I interviewed for. I carefully navigated the corporate world, going from entry-level to senior exec in four years. But with each new rung of the ladder, I wasn’t entirely sure where I was going. So long as I kept climbing, I was happy. I never set out with the dream of owning my own business. Yet here I am.
It started as a sole proprietorship after being laid off from said (unhappy) corporate job. In the back of my mind was the wild idea that I could do that same job for myself, with my own rates and client base. On unemployment with nothing left to lose, I decided to take a chance. It was a slow go at first, but I began seeing success. Then more success. I started working with bigger companies. I got my own office. I hired a part-time assistant. I bought my own company car. I eventually incorporated, becoming the CEO of my own company at the age of 28. Yet as the heat turned up, so did the pressure I put on myself. With every new milestone, my fear kicked up a notch. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Despite the success, I remained in survival mode.
Success in entrepreneurship is based on pure survival, which is perhaps why I found myself excelling. I’m at my most comfortable in high-stress scenarios. If ever content, it’s only for a moment. Even now, having made significant leaps in life, my husband and I still grab onto every opportunity we can. Currently, we’re considering temporarily relocating for a lucrative job placement in my husband’s industry. We’re always up for the grind. But at what point do you cross the line from surviving to thriving? It has been difficult to translate my scrappy survivor spirit in a new life of stability and success. Maybe it is for you, too.
Here are my thoughts:
People who are tenacious and hardworking have the ability to find meaning in, and learn from, trying circumstances. We thrive on hardship, yet this needs to be properly channeled as we reach new points of victory. Eventually, you’ll stop worrying about how the rent will get paid or how you’ll maintain business expenses (at least, that’s the goal). Try not to worry about when it will all come crashing down. Instead, recognize when you cross these thresholds and plan out new and even tougher goals to keep that fire in your belly.
If you’re anything like me, you’re painfully hard on yourself. The slightest mishap can send you on a downward spiral where you’re second guessing everything you do. I’m no expert, but I believe this self-critiquing is a mechanism to create hardship on which we can thrive. The key here is to do this in a healthy way. It’s good to stay hungry for advice on how to develop and progress, but not at your own detriment. Find programs for intensive training or self-improvement instead of beating yourself up (boy, I need to take my own advice here).
It’s more difficult to stay on top than it is to get there. This thought can make it tough to be present and enjoy the fruits of our labor. We feel like we have to keep going, else we’ll descend into chaos and everything will fall apart. Of course, this isn’t true. When you feel your energy depleting, remind yourself that you put in countless years of preparation and endured a lot of hardship to get where you are today. You deserve the downtime, and everything will be there waiting for you when you return — I promise.
Stepping out beyond survival can be terrifying. Letting go of that comfort catapults us into a stratosphere of uncertainty and new growth. But friend, we don’t have to be stuck in survival mode. It’s difficult, but we can take steps together to create a healthier relationship between success, surviving, and thriving. It’s time to honor what was and embrace what now is.